That was our beginning, even though I didn't know it at the time. Like I said, I had picky eaters, no big deal, move on to the next food. It really wasn't until he was about 3 or 4 that I really started to wonder. While my other picky eaters slowly got better and tried new things, he got worse. One at a time, he was getting rid of foods he previously liked. By the time I decided to seek help, he was down to about 10 foods. He has never eaten fruit. Really never even tried it. If its a fruit, he won't eat it. End of story.
My first attempt was with an occupational therapist. I liked her. She was kind and understanding. She validated me. It was the first time I talked to someone that didn't think I was just a enabling parent that needed to get serious about making him eat. She tested him and found that he was borderline SPD (Sensory Processing Disorder). Ahhh, finally, something to call it. Not that I wanted a label, but it meant that I wasn't crazy. He really did have something he was dealing with and it wasn't bad behavior. He was not an overly difficult child, but he had his moments. More about SPD in another post. He was in school at this point, and the teachers didn't see any problems. They actually wondered why I was taking him to the OT, "he's fine". Not just fine even, he was very smart and doing quite well.
Back to the food therapist. She had me bring different foods to the next appointment. Something he liked, something he used to like but didn't anymore, and something he never liked. I took french bread (liked), ham (use to like), and an apple (never liked). She set up an obstacle course and placed different foods at each station. The point was to get him playing so the focus was off of the food. He'd have to run to the food and interact with it in some way that was comfortable for him. So he ate the bread, no problem. But with the ham she wanted him to touch or lick it. I believe he did. With the apple, she just wanted him to touch it. Surprisingly he did, but wanted to wash his hands immediately.
I took him one more time and she played a game with him. He was on a swing and when he swung forward she had an apple in her hand and each time he approached her, she tried to bump up to the next level of interaction.
The levels are: (as I remember them)
1) see
2) smell
3) touch
4) kiss
5) lick
6) put on tongue and spit out
7) hold on tongue and close mouth, then spit out
8) finally chew and swallow
I was actually surprised when he kissed it. He was very uncomfortable and looked at me with a "get me out of here look" but did it and then quickly wiped his mouth with his sleeve. When he licked it he gagged and she stopped the game. Explaining to us that a gagging reaction is when you stop. So I left feeling like we had accomplished something. I was told that he wasn't a bad kid and I shouldn't be pushing him to eat "my" food. No more sending him to bed without dinner or withholding dessert because he didn't eat everything on his plate. She gave me some tips on what to do at home. It included eating with him alone, away from the family, and making it a play time. Take the focus off the food. As a side note, he did more for her than me. I couldn't get him to even touch the apple. But I still gave it a shot. For one meal, I made rice. Away from the family, I had set up some legos. He had to build a tower, but after each block, he had a take a bite. For him, a bite was one grain of rice. After about 10 "bites" he was done. I tried to see how this was going to work. I had 4 other children. Dinner was hectic already. Sitting down as a family was important to me. Now I'm being told to leave the family and sit in another room to play food games. It seemed impossible. As for therapy, three sessions and he has was licking an apple. At this rate, I'd be taking him to therapy for the rest of his life. Even if he ever ate the apple, then what? Another food? It was going to be torture. He was "mostly normal". We got along at home, life was okay. His weight and height were good. He was doing well in school. He did eat. Just because it was the same thing everything night, he was eating. Did I really want to put him through that every week, just so he could tolerate an apple, that I knew deep down, he would still probably never like. So the therapy ended but the learning continued. The take away was that this was real and I wasn't going to fight with him anymore. We reclaimed a family dinner. No more tears, no more punishments. I can't say I was perfect at it. I had my moments. I had my fears. I worried about the future. What did it look like for him? This was about five years ago. We've come a long way.
Back to the food therapist. She had me bring different foods to the next appointment. Something he liked, something he used to like but didn't anymore, and something he never liked. I took french bread (liked), ham (use to like), and an apple (never liked). She set up an obstacle course and placed different foods at each station. The point was to get him playing so the focus was off of the food. He'd have to run to the food and interact with it in some way that was comfortable for him. So he ate the bread, no problem. But with the ham she wanted him to touch or lick it. I believe he did. With the apple, she just wanted him to touch it. Surprisingly he did, but wanted to wash his hands immediately.
I took him one more time and she played a game with him. He was on a swing and when he swung forward she had an apple in her hand and each time he approached her, she tried to bump up to the next level of interaction.
The levels are: (as I remember them)
1) see
2) smell
3) touch
4) kiss
5) lick
6) put on tongue and spit out
7) hold on tongue and close mouth, then spit out
8) finally chew and swallow
I was actually surprised when he kissed it. He was very uncomfortable and looked at me with a "get me out of here look" but did it and then quickly wiped his mouth with his sleeve. When he licked it he gagged and she stopped the game. Explaining to us that a gagging reaction is when you stop. So I left feeling like we had accomplished something. I was told that he wasn't a bad kid and I shouldn't be pushing him to eat "my" food. No more sending him to bed without dinner or withholding dessert because he didn't eat everything on his plate. She gave me some tips on what to do at home. It included eating with him alone, away from the family, and making it a play time. Take the focus off the food. As a side note, he did more for her than me. I couldn't get him to even touch the apple. But I still gave it a shot. For one meal, I made rice. Away from the family, I had set up some legos. He had to build a tower, but after each block, he had a take a bite. For him, a bite was one grain of rice. After about 10 "bites" he was done. I tried to see how this was going to work. I had 4 other children. Dinner was hectic already. Sitting down as a family was important to me. Now I'm being told to leave the family and sit in another room to play food games. It seemed impossible. As for therapy, three sessions and he has was licking an apple. At this rate, I'd be taking him to therapy for the rest of his life. Even if he ever ate the apple, then what? Another food? It was going to be torture. He was "mostly normal". We got along at home, life was okay. His weight and height were good. He was doing well in school. He did eat. Just because it was the same thing everything night, he was eating. Did I really want to put him through that every week, just so he could tolerate an apple, that I knew deep down, he would still probably never like. So the therapy ended but the learning continued. The take away was that this was real and I wasn't going to fight with him anymore. We reclaimed a family dinner. No more tears, no more punishments. I can't say I was perfect at it. I had my moments. I had my fears. I worried about the future. What did it look like for him? This was about five years ago. We've come a long way.
Fascinating, you are definitely on a quest.
ReplyDeleteMy son is 15 and was born with significant GERD but the pediatrician did not order a barium swallow for him until he was 9 weeks old. (I did spend those 9 weeks going back and forth to the pediatrician explaining my son’s problems eating/not eating & screaming.) By then the damage had been done, his esophagus had been burned raw. So step one was to heal the throat and then coax him to eat. Everybody told me he would grow out of it. Maybe the GERD, but not a fear of eating.
ReplyDeleteWe have been to many doctors and tried many things and still no expansion of his diet. I have always described my son’s mouth as being super sensitive, very similar to children on the Autism spectrum. So, 2 weeks ago I googled autism spectrum disorders and eating and the Food Chaining book popped up. Like, Carrie, I read the book immediately and was thrilled! I found a name for his issue SED. He eats less than 20 foods, repulsed by texture, taste, smell and hates to get messy, will not eat if the food is not familiar, rejects entire food groups, and we have lost foods.
So, I made an appointment with his pediatrician this Wed. 10/5/16 to get a food team together. I have printed out the article “Picky Eating vs. Selective Eating Disorder” and “Getting Past Picky Advice for Teens and Adults.” Hopefully he will have knowledge of SED and/or can send me in the right direction.
When he was 3 we did speech therapy for his eating but it was a disaster. After reading Food Chaining I realized the Speech Pathologist jumped way too fast from French Fries to Chicken nuggets.
I have started Food Chaining and my son is interested and on board. We decided to focus on breakfast and snacks. For example, every day for breakfast he eats a bowl of cereal and 4 pieces of bacon (yes, bacon, only meat he will eat!). But I could see the cereal starting to “disappear”. So bring on the Food Chain!
I went to the store and got every possible thing I could think of that he liked for breakfast and then “chained” some of them. My cart was full of junk! I was appalled because I have always tried to feed him – healthy foods and steered away from sugary items etc. For example, Sam told me he would eat strawberry pop-tarts. So, I got those, but also blueberry, raspberry and cherry. He told me he probably wouldn’t like the cherry, but would TRY them!
I did the same thing with chips. Got him chips he likes and a few “new” kinds. Chips are safe and he is willing to try a different one! Now, I certainly did not get anything radical that would scare him. But now he is open to trying a new chip as long as the safe ones stay in the lunch rotation.
I did the same thing with protein bars, granola bars, and trail mix/peanuts.
We first tried some new foods together and talked about them. One trail mix we tried, he told me it tasted like it was burnt from being in a fire, as if the house had been on fire, not burnt in an oven. What a description! He also told me that a type of white powdered donuts tasted like playdough and cardboard!
When he got the hang of tasting and talking, I began to put new foods in his lunch (all snacks, granola bars and yogurt) as well as his safe favorites. And we started rating them on a scale of 1-10, just like the book said. And he would tell me why – for example, croissants too chewy. Now we are talking about new foods! Openly and happily.
ReplyDeleteSo we are headed in the right direction. My next step is to have him try foods again that he did not particularly like. The Food Chaining book recommended trying things several times before crossing it off.
Of course I looked at the Food Chain examples in the back of the book and thought, no way! But, one step at a time. In the mean time I hope his pediatrician can guide me to some professionals that are more knowledgeable than me.
I also got a weekly day planner and write down everything he eats and how he rates them. I also have a notebook with all the foods we are trying. I categorize it breakfast, trail mix, granola bars, crackers, chips, smoothies, juice.
I was so happy to find other moms who had older children with this issue! I hope we can learn a lot from each other and help our children through this struggle
As I usually have good intentions with things I do, I'm not good at consistency. So I dropped the ball on this blog. Not sure if you are going to see this, but I came across it again, realizing I hadn't really continued and saw your comment. So sorry I missed seeing it before. Curious how things are going?? I had attempted food chaining, but my son isn't on board at all. He won't even make the jump from french fries to tater tots. I just joined a facebook support group and got re-involved in finding a solution. It's all too easy to settle back into routine and doing what works without making any improvements. Hope you are still getting answers. I'd love to hear!
Delete